Sitting by the Dock of the Bay...........

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Funny that I did my last blog on "busy" since I have been so busy getting ready to do absolutely nothing!

I'll be sitting by the dock of the bay at Eagle Lake for a week. It's one of many summer trips up north to the lake. Over the years I have brought books, canvas and paints, quilts to sew, and all sorts of projects to do while I do nothing. And I do nothing. Mostly.

Hours go by and I sit by the water, or on our covered porch and just, well, just sit. It's amazing. I get such a case of the lazies there it's almost comical, like take my pulse - I DO have one don't I? It seems so good that it ought to be illegal or something. (Watch out now, the Project Police will issue tickets for inertia!)

We have several eagle nests nearby, one had several babies in it the last time we were up and I'm looking forward to watching them. I found this video which shows eagles you might like to see. We learned that their nests can weigh up to 2,000 pounds, they add on to them yearly. The one near us is several times larger than the one in the video, and one nest we saw was at least 6 feet across, if not more. To watch them diving in the bay for fish is a delightful part of my do nothing.

Besides the majestic eagles, there are otters, egrets, loons, ducks, deer, beaver, badgers, minks and uh oh by golly, bear! We are the guests - this is their land. There may be only two chairs on the dock, but we have a lot of company! I didn't mention the hummingbirds - we have bird feeders all along the porch and it's a flurry of activity all day long.

Perhaps I really AM busy watching it all, I'm just not "doing". Observing nature up at the lake is wondrous, entertaining and educationally enriching. "Sightseeing" can be done in my chair or from my Cleopatra of the Nile position in our boat. I force myself to take long walks or bike rides because you-know-what just spreads wider sitting all the time. I always enjoy it once I'm up and at it though.

For me, this is a heavenly vacation. What is your favorite vacation - doing nothing or sightseeing? Big adventures? New places?

I may run an archive blog while I'm gone (no computer up there yet) but I know I'll have refreshing commentary when I get back home - stay tuned! Enjoy the eagles video!

Quotes on Busy to Inspire, Motivate or Think About!

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Why didn't you do it?
I was too busy.
You forgot to call.
Sorry I was busy.
Can you help me a minute?
Not now, I'm busy.

I may have to add the word busy to my list of ick words to avoid. Below are some quotes on BUSY for you to ponder.


"He not busy being born is busy dying" Bob Dylan

"Nowhere so busy a man as he than he and yet he seemed busier than he was. " Goeffrey Chaucer

"Keep busy while you are waiting for something to happen." Robert Genn

"It is easy to sit up and take notice. What is difficult is getting up and taking action. " Al Batt



Don't be too busy to leave a comment! haha!

Do you have a quote or nuggets of personal philosophy on being "busy"? Does busy have limits?

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Stress and Eating - Why Diets May Not Work?

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I hadn't planned on a video today but there is information here so directly tied to stress and its connection to our health - and eating, which we ALL do - I tacked it on today. I hope you can take the five minutes to watch it.

As I said, we all eat. What you will learn from this video is that bringing the RIGHT MIND or presence to the table with you is probably more important than what you are eating. Oh that mind again! It is so powerful. Intellectually I know this, but I am fascinated with the far-reaching effects in the little corners of my day.




It certainly is worth considering that we take a few minutes before we eat to calm ourselves down, whether it is through prayers or meditation, get truly present and centered, be grateful for the food and simply focus on eating. I may have to make this another commandment! "Thou shalt not bring anything but pure joy and gratitude to the table." I don't know about you, but I am motivated and inspired to change a few things - mentally - in an area of my day I took for granted.

How are your meals going - or not? Do you think there is some merit (after seeing this video) to booting stress from the table?

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Starting Over and Getting the Critic OUT

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Yesterday, over-shadowed somewhat by Father's Day, was Summer Solstice. This heralds the official date of the beginning of summer but, to me, it brings another giddy opportunity to write resolutions.

A Refresher:
Years ago I gave up writing New Year's Resolutions. Often what I would resolve to do tanked after a few months, meaning I would have to wait for the NEXT New Year to start over. Not to mention, during the year I'd often forget just what the heck I resolved to do, or would loose the list, or any number of dumb things. I really like the concept though, and setting a date for the kick-off of new goals or changes, so I re-invented the process. My year now consists of four opportunities for chunks of a few months duration, four chances for success, four do-overs if you will. Spring Equinox, Summer Solstices, Fall Equinox and Winter Solstice have all become my "new" New Year's resolution time. It is so much easier to imagine you can make it for 90 days or so with a change, new behavior, getting a project wrapped up etc. than to look at a whole year. It's also easier to pace myself. I keep the list short and reasonable for the "quarter" of the year, and have fun with it.

I looked at my Spring Equinox list on Saturday as I prepared to write the new list for Summer Solstice. Not a raging success - improvements, but, uh oh - caution - the critic is turning on! You know what (who) I mean. That voice that says, "Wow girl, you blew that one!" "Whatever made you think you'd do THAT?" "You are clearly lazy!" and other such nonsense you really don't want to hear. If you DO listen there is the potential of feeling quite beaten up and totally incapable of doing anything!

I flicked the critic off of my shoulder. It's all ok. In my best penmanship I re-wrote, and re-worded two of the three things from my last list that I had not accomplished, eager to begin anew.

Key operative words: off my shoulder.

Everyone has a critic, that nagging negative voice in the head. It's active too - I've read at least 75% of our thinking is negative - whoa, what a blabbermouth! I mentally MOVED my critic out of my head and put it on my shoulder instead. I prefer the distance and also the opportunity to flick it off, like a bug or lint. (Don't call PETA on me now, but bugs are not welcome on my physical body and this critic is about as valuable to me as an irritating bug!) I don't know WHERE this annoyingly negative thing gets it's information or opinions from or why I get told them, but getting it "out" of my head is empowering. It makes me feel as if this voice isn't really ME but this bug on my shoulder - apart from me, not in me.

Consequently this (imaginary) distance allows me to listen less - it is just negative jabbering outside of me. The added bonus of this is that I know it is not my heart-thoughts speaking because those are the good ones, the loving ones. I don't believe this critter on my shoulder as a result. I suspect it of lies, distortions and sabotage.

I invited heart-thoughts to my Solstice resolution party, absolutely shunning the critic critter. I've figured out that this critter brings at least of six-pack of unwanted buddies to the party - fear, doubt, regret, poor self image, lack of confidence, and frustration. This is a group that gets out of control. Who wants them?

This works for me better than anything I've tried before. It's my way of dealing (or not) with "that" voice. How do you handle YOUR critic?

Coffee Anyone? Relax and Listen to this Video!

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I'm putting my Sunday video on now so more of you can tune in over the weekend. The pictures and music are wonderful but the message.............ahhhhh.............Enjoy!!!!

Happy Father's Day to all!

The Blessing of Adversity? WHAT?

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I love Dan Millman's book, "No Ordinary Moments". I've blogged about it before. The copy I have is falling apart, chunks of pages no longer "bound" and they shift or fall out if I'm not mindful. There are sticky notes throughout, highlighted areas and pages with folded corners. This book led to many topics I converted into journaling exercises for the classes I taught during the 90's. I think this book and I are aging together - the jury is still out on which of us is holding up better! I know I won't replace it with a new copy. It wouldn't have the same well-loved essence.

One of the chuncks that fell out last night when I picked the book off the shelf was a piece of his chapter "When the Going Gets Tough". Hmmm, a "sign" - I love when that happens!

The going does get tough, challenges appear, lessons need to be learned, and we have a never-ending diet of this. It's life. It's not so much what happens to us as it is how we handle it that counts. While we all may yearn for that safe place, the place where nothing happens, where we can catch our breath and we can hide from all the icky, sticky, uglies, we all know that at some point we simply need to face it, deal with it, and move on. Would it be nice to live in a bubble and away from everything?

The chicken experiment:

Some years ago scientists were using chickens to do a study on immune systems. They raised a group of chickes in a sterile environment, perfect light, temperature and just the right grain. These chickens experienced no difficulties, no stress, no trauma whatsoever. After several generations of chickens had been raised, the scientists placed these chickens back in a normal chicken environment. They all quickly died.

Too pampered and protected they were ill-equipt to live normal lives. Everyone's concept of normal differs of course, but the point is a bit of adversity may be necessary in life to make us stronger. We may not be immune to problems but we learn over time how to cope and carry on with living.

Millman writes that often when things happen to us that we think are bad (at the time) can actually end up being good for us in the end. We may not feel appreciative for the struggles when we are in them. (Who wakes up and says "Hey Universe, lay a good one on me today so I can sweat through another challenge because I thrive on struggling"?)

Hindsight (now THERE'S an ugly word, let's use Reflection) - Reflection can lend refreshing improvement to our memories when given the perspective of time. It's that old saying about every cloud has a silver lining. I used to cringe when my mom told me that but upon reflection I can see many silver linings NOW for clouds that brought thunderous storms in what seemed to be an endless storm front parked over me. Other times I never saw the silver lining (still looking) but I gained confidence in my ability to weather the storms. If all I "get" from having problems is knowing I am a confident survivor, I'll take that, thank you.

Let's not be chickens. Their story didn't turn out so well. I'm not saying I'm all for adversity, bring it on! But that protective bubble, that safe place where we may long to hide out in rather than deal with what's in our face, in the end is not so good. I think there is more than a grain of truth in "What doesn't kill us, makes us stronger." What do you think?
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Thoughts on Words

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Random thoughts on words today.

Our words have potential and can evoke new beginnings.

Words are powerful; they can cut us down or heal us.

Words in our head that comprise the mental image we carry around are what we see in life. To change our experience, we need to change the mental image - change the words.

On the opening day of Disney World in Orlando, a reporter said to Roy Disney, "It's too bad Walt didn't live to see this." Roy replied, "Walt saw it FIRST, and that's why you are seeing it NOW."

Our words can be self-empowering or self-defeating. Sometimes it is hard to remember that whatever words we use are a choice we make each and every day.

The Hippie generation expressed the words "Hey man, if it don't feel good, don't do it man." There is some profound wisdom in those words, yet the "establishment" rather slammed that statement as selfish and irresponsible.

Words inspire, motivate and bring change. Collect the best of them!

Given for free, a few kind words to someone can enrich their life beyond measure.

Words.

We all use them.

Do we take the time to choose them?

Share some words here today that have helped you or inspired you.

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Relaxing on Sunday with Inspiration

'You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one"..................John Lennon

Some awesome quotes are on this video today and John Lennon singing "Imagine" - the combo is unbeatable! Enjoy a few minutes of relaxation and inspiration and have a great day!

Hugs to all,
suZen

Nip Tuck of Mother Tongue or Dad, Patron Saint of Editors

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The closer it gets to Father's Day, the more I think of him. He passed on 27 years ago. My father was a stickler for proper use of the English language. He was forever nip/tucking my speech, pronunciation, articulation and vocabulary. I thought he was a pain in the ass. Especially in my teen years. I learned to close my eyes lest he see them rolling and then launch into that lecture about how I should CARE, and people judge you by what flies out of your mouth because you can sound totally ignorant and blow whatever impression you wanted to make about having the least bit of intelligence by mispronunciation or whatever - on and on ad nauseum. I know he wanted the best for me and to inspire me, motivate me, to be the best that I could be. And now..........

I still hear him correcting and editing speech in my head. I am sure he is rolling over in his grave at what he hears being said. There are a few things so prevalent and so misused I must say something or he will never shut up. On behalf of our Mother Tongue and my father who loved our language so much, here are a few things worth mentioning.

Say the word Realtor slowly out loud.........................it is not re-LA-tor but real-tor. Amazing wide spread abuse of this poor little word. I've even heard realtors say it wrong. A commercial on TV said it wrong. Where will it end? Change the spelling eventually to accomodate?

Then there is the ever popular, totally over the top usage of "these ones" and "those ones". Where this creative duo originated, I haven't a clue. It's a real eeeeuw to hear it - the use of this has spread like a pandemic to infiltrate school teachers and people on tv talk shows. Nip it. It's "these" or "those" - nip the "ones". Saying this one or that one is ok - it's the plurals that are so wrong.

Julia at Midwest Moms reminded all in her latest post about the preposition thing - ending sentences with AT - as in "Where you at?" which should be "Where are you?" Tuck those prepositions anywhere in the sentence but at the end, right Julia? (Did we have the same father?)

It's common - and annoying - to be greeted by a hostess in a restaurant, or wait staff, that looks at hubs and I and says "How are you guys this evening?" I appreciate the greeting - nip the GUYS. Funny how you find that LESS often in expensive restaurants, though it will happen. Saying "How are you two this evening?" is a classier way of greeting. GUYS is a fine word but it has it's place, don't you think?

I would be remiss if I didn't acknowledge the slow death and disappearance of the cute ly or ily known to some as adverbs. Is it texting that makes us nip it? Shouldn't it be (as in days of old?) "and they lived happily ever after" and not the "happy ever after" I just heard the other day? There is quick instead of quickly, bad instead of badly, all the while Dad, Protector of Mother Tongue, is mourning the ly being dropped and nobody notices.

Studies indicate if we hear something often enough it becomes commonplace and evolves into acceptable. That accounts for new words being added to dictionaries continuously in an effort to keep up with the broadening of our language. Hip new words are always being introduced into our speech and the valuable ones get listed in the newest edition of Websters. While it is a good thing to grow the language, I'm wondering why we don't pay "proper" attention to the words we already have and use daily.

I saw a sign "If you don't stand up for something, you will fall for anything!" Love that!

I'm standing up. If I don't, his editor voice won't go away. Dad believed Mother Tongue deserved respect and if we wanted respect we should make every attempt to follow her basic rules. Is it possible to inspire and motivate people to use English correctly? Or is it hip to be flip and no worries, anything goes? Just asking............ ( Dad made me!)

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Marriage in the 60's - Just a Peek!

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"Honey, come quickly - there's a flood in the basement!"

"What?"

"There's a flood in the basement!"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean something leaked, broke, or exploded! There's water on the floor!"

"What do you mean there is water on the floor?"

(expletive deleted)"Just come and SEE - words obviously fail me!"

Clearly I am yanking him out of some golfing fantasy dream, garage induced reverie or basement workshop bliss. One wonders. Change the circumstances to practically anything and this is the potential conversation we have. I've long ago stopped caring whether this is a typical "man thing", this delay, inquire, delay, inquire. Suffice to say "we" have a hearing problem that "we" don't talk about - of course we don't talk about it because he can't hear me anymore!

Marriage in the 60's (no, not 1960's) changes as we change. We get a kick out of younger married couples struggling to find something new and different for their date night. After 30 years just try to find "different"! We've done it all - and probably many things more than once, we just don't remember.

"Hon, remember when we.........."

"I don't remember that!"

"Yes you DO! We were in Sacramento and......"

"I've never been to Sacramento with you."

"Oh no, wait - it wasn't Sacrament - it was LA, yes LA, I'm sure of it because there was an earthquake."

"I've never been in an earthquake! What in the hell are you talking about?"

"Oh geez, how can you not remember?!?! We were with Lee... um, whatshisname and his girlfriend."

"WHO???"

"Who did you go to Sacrament with anyway?"

"WHAT???"

"You said you were never in Sacramento with ME!"

"I never said that!"

It's like that. I think we did it all but who knows? It seems two people who can finish each others sentences should, would or could share the same memories. Not so much!

At this stage (age) we are both working our on memories, like working out the old brain in a gym. We test each other on the names of people we see on TV, events/dates in history (this is a HOOT!) and quite a bit of world geography (we don't know yet WHERE to retire) and salivate over trivia games (which as you can imagine, sparks lively debate!). Who sings that? What year? Working out the brain cells is a good thing. Keep them stimulated so they don't croak! I think I'm doing just fine until we go to Blockbusters for a movie - I choose three in a row that we've already seen!

Funny how cerebral this decade is. I'm trying to look on the bright side. I have to. It is no longer what I physically can do, it's all about what I know and remember. I really care more about what is in my head (experience and memories) than saggy jowls, flabby arms that wave back to me, and age spots. I know I can't stop physical aging so I am working with what is left! I thought maybe we should try learning Spanish together but we have such a time with English communications that this may be pushing the envelope!

We don't talk much about getting older. We know we are. As tempting as it is to get him a Bell Tone, I just try to aim my voice into his "good" ear. Be kind. Be patient. Laugh a lot!

He still calls me his beautiful one - priceless! (If his eye sight is also failing, so what?) I think we are going to make it!

Happy Anniversary Honey!

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REALLY hard to believe, but we celebrated our 28th Anniversary on Friday - though technically in July we will have been together for 30 years! Either number - amazing. Rather than bore you with all my secrets (I'm sure I MUST have some somewhere or other) to a long lasting marriage - here's a wise word from Dustin Hoffman regarding HIS long marriage. And Dustin, I couldn't agree you with more!

Enjoy your day!

The Golden Halo Twins - Intention and Commitment

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Showing up.

Just showing up.

Showing up without complaining.

I wonder if our intentions need a tweak? Is it the fast pace lives that can swallow us up? Or perhaps the fact that social graces are so "yesterday"?

Volunteering to do something, be it helping someone or taking any position of service is easy. We all do it to one extent or another. It is basically a GOOD thing. And maybe when initially asked, we jump in and say yes without giving the matter one hell of a lot of thought. That, too, can be a good thing but the kicker comes when we have to show up - do it - find the time in the crazed schedule.

For example, I knew a woman who would never say no. She was extremely active in her church. You name the committee, she was on it. The problem was she complained bitterly the whole time she was "serving". She was always in a rush, snapped at other volunteers, bossed others with an impatient tone and in general was miserable to be around.

Let's call this type "Vicky Volunteer". You know her. She is everywhere. There is a least one in every organization.

On the other side of this, there is "Busy Belinda" ---- (please do not take offense if your name is Vicky OR Belinda - these are random choices from Monkey Mind). Belinda is very pleasant, light hearted, and will tell you yes, she will do it (whatever) and never shows up. She "forgot" or something came up and no, she didn't even have time to call for replacement because good Lord, it was an emergency. Trouble is, her entire life is like this. She may show up once in ten times. Maybe.

Belinda and Vicky both suffer from what I call (technically, of course) "Screwed Up Intentions Syndrome" or SUIS. In today's brisk pace, Belinda-types are more common than Vicky-types. They have the best of intentions. They mean well. They have a lot in common. And they BOTH have the misguided thinking that if they "intend to" it counts for something.

There could be rust and slime on their intended halo's. Intentions are powerful energies. There is no reward for just having them. And there is no prize for Vicky showing up yet complaining and making a big to-do over what a long-suffering volunteer she is either.

To avoid SUIS here a few suggestions:

1. THINK! Take a moment when asked to do something. People will be counting on their volunteer to show up. Just because that spot in the day-timer is open doesn't automatically mean do it. (An obcession with filling up every line on every page? Is there any time blocked in for rest/relaxation - you know, the anti-stress?)

2. THINK AGAIN. Will this service be done without complaining? (If the answer is negative so will the energy be that comes with to the doing of it.)

3. THINK DEEP. Don't clutter up the energy field on the planet with "thoughts" of intending to do this or that. If there is a true, sincere intention to do something - whatever it is - do it! (This also applies to the casual "I'll call you next week" tossed out without thinking and never done.)

4. BRING JOY. This is not optional. (Your halo will get slimed if you don't! I am not personally in charge of the slime. This department is headed by God and His Intention Police and I wouldn't mess around with them!)

5. LEARN TO SAY NO. This seems to be a sticky wicket most people refuse to caress. If we cannot get thru the first 4 points, we need to learn to say no without creating excuses/lies to get out of it. A simple "I am so sorry I must say no" or "I have to say no right now." or at least say "I need to check on a few things before I commit, can I get back to you?". (This is similar to buying time to think which is really useful when you have kids asking for things as well.)

6. HONOR THE SACRED. Realize that intentions are sacred - so are committments. (Being too casual about this is akin to texting God with a prayer request.)

There are so many, many people out there with golden shining halos. Bless them all! They make the world a better place and I, for one, want to join in as much of this as I possibly can. By association with Vicky's and Belinda's it was an education of sorts. (Everyone we ever meet is a teacher, did you know?) What I've learned is simple. If we are going for the gold, we need to BRING the gold. If the intention is sincere, the Intention Police provide the polish!

Distractions Cure Boredom and More......

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Where in the world did we come up with boredom anyway? I'm guessing it originated in childhood. Now that school is out, many parents will be hearing this from the kids, "I'm bored! What can I do?" I know my kids went thru that phase. I tried to cure them of that the same way I was cured of it.

I grew up rurally on a farm, only child. I remember saying (just once or twice because I'm a fast learner) "Grandma I'm bored!" She immediately scoffed, said I was being ridiculous and gave me several chores to do. (See what I mean? You learn NOT to say you're bored!) I mean when you are nine or ten years old, and had already fed the chickens, mucked the stable, filled the troughs and spent an hour or more picking cherries for her pies, then pitting them, it seemed I should have some fun. Fun is relative, optional I guess.

When my kids whined about being bored, I was ready. I whipped out my list. (I made several in advance because to a certain extent, children are predictable.) If they dared ask me what they could do, the list was not optional. They had to choose from the list - weed the garden, walk the dog, wash their bikes, sweep out the garage, etc. It was amazing how they learned over time! I probably had the least amount of whining bored kid incidents than most moms. Sometimes when they felt an attack of boredom coming on they'd just ask for the list. They knew if they did more than 2 things on the list they would get a treat. (I was liberal enough to add the treat factor, something I never got!)

With boredom not being tolerated when I was young, it no doubt saved me from it as an adult. If I dare even think I'm bored I must find something to do, and fast! That doesn't mean, however, that I can't just sit and do nothing because I do, a lot. It does mean that I truly enjoy those times. It's "ok". It must be necessary down time and I accept that. Often that is when I do my best list-making too!

I've seen many TV films of children with nothing, not even shoes, in small African villages, yet they sing, dance and play. Their faces lit up with life. The movie Slumdog Millionaire revealed yet another "lifestyle" that is far and away the opposite life of most of our children here. In this country, if our children are not amused and entertained continually, they whine about being bored. And lets face it, so do adults.

Whatever we constantly focus on will expand for us. It is all thought. For instance, have you ever felt hungry, you think about it, and then get hungrier? What if something happens to distract you for a few minutes? Did you suddenly become NOT hungry because your thoughts were on something else? Doubtful the hunger went anywhere, you just weren't thinking about it.

Distractions may be irritating when you are trying to focus on something. But distractions can also be a blessing. I found that out when parenting as well - especially in the early years. You can distract a child from crying, having a temper tamtum, or fighting. It takes a spur of the moment touch, good timing and a silly idea. When my two would fight over some toy and I saw it getting nasty, I broke into my best opera voice and started singing "Peace and Love" over and over. It stopped them dead in their tracks, mouths gaping wide, staring at me incredulously --- and then quickly asking me to stop! (Yeah, my voice isn't that great admittedly, but what fun to do this instead of yelling!) It ALWAYS worked too! Often I'd only get out the "Peace and..." before they'd freeze and quit the shenangans, with a groaning "Oh no, here she goes again!"

Don't flick off distractions. Sometimes you need them! It's my feeling we especially need them if we are whining about boredom. It's only a thought. Change the thought. Distract yourself.

I put a video on today - one of my all time favorites! Don't know if you are familiar with Miriam Makeba or not, she died last year in South Africa, but not before leaving her mark with her famous song, Pata Pata. It's a happy song, full of life! I have no idea what the words mean - it is the spirit of the song that matters. May this help us all (it's a dark rainy Monday here) get off of our PataPata's and do something fun - or make whatever you have to do fun - just a thought!






p.s. Extra hugs for those of you who went to Beth's blog (per my last post)