If you know her, you also know why she is the Joy Girl! To me, she is an adorable bundle of positive energy and I'm so happy to share her with all of you!
Reclaiming Great Relationships
“When a woman falls in love with the magnificent possibilities within herself, the forces that would limit those possibilities hold less and less sway over her. A relationship that keeps us tied to the push and pull of co-dependent neuroses is a block to our shining. When we are very clear that we want to shine…then we attract into our lives the kinds of relationships that help us do that.”
Nadia at Happy Lotus was kind enough to recommend that I read A Woman’s Worth, and my gosh, it has woken me up to some phenomenal concepts about being a woman in this day and age, and how the feminine energy is once again waking up en masse. (Thank you, Nadia!) It has also reminded me of what it takes to make great relationships.
When it comes to relationships, whether they’re intimate partnerships, friendships, or even familial connections, why do we – men and women alike – ever subject ourselves to anything less than complete respect, reverence, truth, love and compassion from others? Why is it that we think we are not worthy of those things?
I was in a romantic relationship a few years ago that was fantastically toxic. And I knew deep down that the unhealthiness played to the lowest common denominator of “not good enough” beliefs I’d formed 20 years earlier when my dad left. Despite knowing that this particular relationship wasn’t good for me, I stayed. At the time I preferred, I suppose, to be unhappy and with someone, than to be by myself and blissful. I also naively believed I could change him if I just gave one more chance, or held on for one more week. I’m not sure if I was more convinced I could change him or me, but either way, it took three years before I had sense enough – and self-love enough – to finally cut and run.
Mark at The Naked Soul wrote a post about a friend of his who is currently in an abusive relationship (Relationship Myth: I Can Change Him/Her!). Despite her understanding of the situation, she cannot seem to extract herself from the abuse permanently. When I read the post, I saw myself in it.
Until, as Marianne Williamson said, we fall in-love with ourselves completely and see within us the magnificence and divinity we were born with and are here to profess to the world, we will continue to attract painful relationships. When we’re hurting on the inside, we draw to us hurting on the outside. As an intelligent woman, I never wanted to believe that I was responsible for the unhealthy relationship I was in until the day I could no longer deny it.
Why would I continue subjecting myself to abuse? What benefit was there in doing so?
As a creature of habit, I’ve learned that on a subconscious level I tend to gravitate toward that which I know. For years, I only knew pain, insecurity, and drama. It wasn’t until I put my foot down and proclaimed to the Universe, “I’ve had enough of this toxic nonsense!” that my life opened up to real and healthier love. When I cut that one toxic relationship from my life once and for all, I was rewarded with an incredibly true, patient, and respectful love that had me jumping for joy at every turn.
And that’s not to say that true love is always easy. As Marianne Williamson said, “…we expect love affairs to always feel good. They don’t. Actually, relationships don’t feel good anyway. We feel good… No man can convince a woman she’s wonderful, but if she already believes she is, his agreement can resonate and bring her joy.”
So it’s been my experience that the more I willfully step into my own power and reclaim my greatness, I’m greeted with equal greatness at every turn. I’m in a relationship now with someone who respects me, wants for my happiness, has compassion, and uplifts me when I’m feeling down. He is mirror, reflecting back to me the truths I now feel about myself. As such, he’s shown me that in the last few years I’ve grown to love myself much, much more than I ever thought possible. But he’s also shown me that I have a ways to go.
And so the journey continues.
My wish for the world is that we all keep heading in the direction of unwavering self-love, supporting and loving each other every step of the way. There is greatness to be had, after all, and there’s no better time than now to claim it.
Megan (Joy Girl) Bord